My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
