i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
