I think im going to throw up on grandma
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
