I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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