I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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