i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
