dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
