He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
