Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
