He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
