please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
