I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
operation have a gay friend backfired
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
