I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
