Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
