Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
