I murdered the dance floor call the cops
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
