I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
