We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
