Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
