Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
