i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Hippo gnu deer
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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