when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
