We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
