Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
