There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
