I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
