Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
