Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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