I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
