I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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