you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
