I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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