Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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