Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
