My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
