Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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