I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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