I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
