and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
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