He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
