i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
