the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
