we have officially lost it.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
