Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
