Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
