hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
