This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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