i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
