So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
