Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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