No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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